And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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