I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
