why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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