This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
