Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
