I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
