somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
