sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
