i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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