physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
