Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
