dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
