Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have tasted many bathrooms
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
