Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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