I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
