remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
