Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
