Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
