Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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