New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
