Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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