i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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