I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
