I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
