Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Don't make out with my wife yet
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
