just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
