Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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