No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
