Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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