He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
