I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
No subtext here. People are naked.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
