dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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