people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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