i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
