They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
