can we get nightvision for the apartment?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
operation have a gay friend backfired
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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