You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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