im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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