Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
