i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Oh god it's open bar.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize