Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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