ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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