Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize