are you still at the devil's house?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
