Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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