I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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