Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
