He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
