He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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