May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
