You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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