There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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