mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
