I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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