8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just cut my nipple shaving
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
