Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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