Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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