If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I can't turn off my feet"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize