she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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