so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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