if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
